Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize