Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize