Christians are straight up FREAKS
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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