I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
