I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
