god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We're facebook friends in real life
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
