I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
