It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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