And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't turn off my feet"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
