I want to have your abortion
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
