So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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