she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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