in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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