I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It was confusing and full of hummus
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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