I heard we made out
We're facebook friends in real life
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
