Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
