I accidentally had phone sex last night
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
