sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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