my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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