I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You pole danced in your parka.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
