When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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