just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
