Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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