Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
