I think I won the penis lottery.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
