absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
