she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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