I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
