Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Sober January is a disaster.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
