i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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