The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
