loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize