i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
