He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
