I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I didn't notice because vodka
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
as a side note pls kill me
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