the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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