You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
