Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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