Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
