I need help removing her.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
