She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
