dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize