i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
