Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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