the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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