It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
