Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We are all done wearing pants today
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
