there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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