I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
