Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
