then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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