Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize