we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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