he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
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