Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
