her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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