sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
