Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize