Whod you bang
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
