i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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