that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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