True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I need to align my fucking chakras
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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