I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
