Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
